Better Read   

The Thousand Oaks Acorn visits the Reagan Library, dipped in history.

From tiny acorns some mighty old chestnuts swell, as the Reagan Presidential Library finds a willing conduit for its Berlin Wall fantasies.

The Library is going all out to forever tie the Wall’s collapse to Reagan’s utterances, with the keen insights of  “exhibit specialist” Rob Zucca showing Acorn the way.

Apparently, the Wall was a commie trap! 

“They [The Reds] always said it was a security wall to keep the west out. Well, it was to keep their people in.”

“The Library’s claim is the chipping away—and eventual removal—of the barricade paved the way for the reunification of Germany and the advent of freedom and democracy in Eastern Europe.”

- neatly reversing the actual sequence of events, in which the Wall was more the last act of East Germany’s internal collapse, which was itself one of the last Stalinist regimes to go.

Reagan Library director of communications Melissa Giller riffs on Reagan quotes of the 60s, 70s, and today, plugging in “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction” along with the inevitable Thatcher reference.

“It was his lifelong mission to bring the end of communism and he was able to do it, as Margaret Thatcher said, ‘without ever firing a shot’”

But as we now know, Mags opposed German unification, plotting with wiley Frenchman Francois Mitterrand to block it.

But  Giller cannot be restrained:

“…even today, there are places such as Iraq and Afghanistan where American soldiers are fighting for freedom and democracy.“They may not have a physical Berlin Wall,” she said, “but walls still exist.”

Indeed. 

                               This Is Not Happening! 

Feisty tabloid The New York Post reports Former Presidents Clinton and Bush have canceled a once mildly interesting sounding speaking event, vowing no longer to  “undoubtedly generate heated discussion as the best political minds of our day examine the most talked about topics surrounding current events.”

The two had been slotted to appear in the “Minds That Move The World” series at Radio City Music Hall, but the Post says they backed out after seeing the event’s lame hype.

Sites promoting the event are already scrubbed or strangely empty, and    now we will never know what these “minds” think “In light of the new political environment that faces our nation.“

MMM, Cake!

Bill Clinton revisited past triumphs Sunday, visiting embattled Kosovo to salute its quasi-independence from Serbia.

And to unveil the vast statue of himself gracing Bill Clinton Boulevard in exotic Pristina.  A jaunty Bill is presented, clutching in one hand a portfolio or briefcase inscribed with the date bombing Serbia began.

Inglorious withdrawals and never were’s in Haiti and Somalia have yet to receive bronze commemoration.

  Eternal Flame   

The pop-necrophiliac juggernaut that is Michael Jackson has opened a London exhibit of career castoffs and oddities, somehow coinciding with the release of what we can only hope is his last final concert film.

Along with the usual costumes and chotskies is a treasured Ronald Reagan letter to Jackson, wishing him speedy recovery from burns sustained in an

   ill-starred Pepsi commercial.

Reagan’s infectious optimism failed to take hold in this instance.    Jackson’s fire injuries are blamed by some for his subsequent pain killer abuse.

Much as we might dream of these oddities on permanent display in a real museum someday, the cruel fact is this is only a tease for the inevitable  memorabilia auction. 

 Straight Poop

George W. Bush made his world-changing motivational speaker debut in Ft. Worth this week, and he went with the tested material.

How to rouse the Texas throng while auditioning for future speaking gigs?

Turd jokes never fail!

Bush wowed ‘em with tales of cleaning up after his dog, showing that former Presidents are just like us. The Washington Post watched the relatableness unfold in real time:

“He is just a normal guy! He wasn’t the best speaker. But I was happy to see him!” said Lubbock salesman Patrick Kruger, 50.”

 

Bush’s fascinating pet sanitation anecdote saw light in March, when he tried it first outside the country in Canada.

Next to China, where April saw the former chief executive talking shit at the Boao Forum.

A May high school graduation provided the first domestic audience to enjoy Bush’s scatological stylings, and Vanity Fair expressed concern that the ex-president was repeating himself.

Bush defied the glossy monthly, regaling Michigan business leaders with dog stories in late May, and again in Toronto.
Squintee is a man of few words!